the beginning and the end

well, as many of you know by now, I had planned a visit to my beloved grandpa starting Friday september 17. This day will now be forever etched in my mind. My grandpa's health was poor, but his mind completely aware. He passed 1 hour before my plane landed...I was devistated to learn the man that had a huge part of helping mold me into the woman that I am today was now gone from this earth. This was the day that I have dreaded my whole life. It was always a running joke that I would say "grandpa don't be silly, your going to live forever" and he would laugh and say "well maybe, but I'm ready to be with the lord whenever he is ready to take me, heaven sounds like a wonderful place". Never afraid and always spoke of the end with a smile and that he wasn't afraid. He was the most amazing man I will ever have the honor of knowing and learn from.
I was able to be at his bedside and see him at such peace, touch his hands and talk and tell him all of the things I had planned and most of all tell him how much I loved him and how I will miss him dearly. Then I realized something....in my sorrow and grief I realized that his memory will live with me forever, its true that the body is just a shell for the incredible souls that inhabit them during their time on this earth. Friends and family and memories are what keep that precious soul with us on earth, but also I know that he is rejoicing in heaven with my mom and catching up on the years gone by.
Everyone that I met in arizona ranging from his friends to the nurses that cared for him all said the same things to me..."you were the apple of your grandpa's eye" "he talked about you all the time" "he was so proud of you and the woman you have become"
All of these things warmed my heart because that is all I ever wanted was his love and approval, and strangers came to me with exactly that information. The funny thing is, is that he was exactly all of those things to me :)
I love you grandpa! I will think of you daily. Thank you for teaching and helping lead me into the person I am today. Save a dance for me when we meet again in heaven some day. Godspeed!